Relationships for One

Fear of being misunderstood makes sharing challenging.

Is it more challenging to be lonely in a relationship or when you are single? Sometimes, the persistent loneliness of feeling misunderstood is more painful when you do have a significant other in your life.

You looked forward to having this best friend who would always understand you, but now you feel disappointed and alone.

Hard emotional seasons can be tricky when you are in a relationship. Feeling misunderstood can usually lead us to behave in ways that make us not understand ourselves.

You may have private thoughts, feelings, or experiences that make you uncomfortable when you share them with your partner.

Feeling unseen is not for you.

Going through the motions in a relationship and keeping others happy can make you feel invisible and insignificant.

You may find that you act out what it feels like when ignored by seeking attention, being flirty, or picking fights.

Others may tell you to be more content and “stand by” rather than being the center of attention. This advice can seem very out of place for you, as you are the one who makes other people feel seen and comfortable.

Now, others ask you to be smaller and undervalued for what they used to value you for.

How much do you say?

If you don’t know how to be honest or what to share in couples counseling, you may keep your mouth shut or talk about irrelevant problems.

Not addressing the problem may result in spending much time and money.

In the end, you will not make any progress on healing the loneliest parts of you or feeling closer to your partner.

How can I help?

Receiving relationship therapy for you alone provides an excellent opportunity to practice being transparent and honest with another person about what you think and feel and the urges and behaviors you act on.

I can provide a gentle on-ramp to sharing your life experience wholly and without judgment.

The goal here is to share what you feel comfortable sharing about yourself and your experiences with someone with whom you want to share your life.

Some situations are complex to navigate.

Feeling uncomfortable sharing is also true of “situation ships,” broken friendships, breakups, and divorce.

Friends might have told you to move on or talk to a therapist. In any case, you do not feel like you can continue to share how crazy this riddle is making you.

You wonder when you will ever be able to get over it and why this person has such a firm hold on your heart.

Going on privately obsessing (strong language, sorry!) over the person you are not in an established relationship with and ruminating about why you are not enough or too much for them is not the answer. This approach will only make you feel insufficient or too much and can land you in a rut.

Relationship counseling, for one, offers an alternative.

In this type of relationship counseling, we will explore your attachment style, needs, desires, and how you relate to others.

We will examine your relationship patterns with your first caregivers and how these experiences have shaped you.

You will likely need support in setting boundaries, nurturing your inner child, and encouragingly and lovingly speaking to yourself.

Let’s walk this path together as we explore ways to help you feel more confident, calm, and connected with the version of yourself.